Listen twice, speak once.

Life can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster for kids, with its ups and downs, twists and turns. During those challenging moments, it’s important to learn how to navigate your feelings and the feelings of others. One of the best ways to do this is by practicing the art of listening. When you listen well, you not only understand what others are saying, but you also learn more about yourself. Remember, listening twice and speaking once is a powerful approach to help you connect with others and deal with your own emotions.

Listening means paying attention, both to the words someone is saying and to their feelings. When a friend is upset or going through a tough time, take a moment to really hear them out. You might find that they just need someone to share their thoughts with. Instead of thinking about what you want to say next, focus on their words and emotions. Ask questions like, “How did that make you feel?” or “What happened next?” This not only shows that you care but also helps you understand their experience better. In turn, this can help you feel more connected to them, which is a comforting feeling during tough times.

When it’s your turn to speak, think carefully about what you want to say. It’s easy to jump in with advice or stories of your own, but sometimes what your friend needs most is simply your understanding. You can share your thoughts, but make sure to do it in a way that respects their feelings. You might say something like, “I can’t imagine how hard that must be for you,” or “I’m here for you, no matter what.” These kinds of responses can make a huge difference, letting your friend know they’re not alone in their struggles.

It’s also essential to listen to your own feelings. When you’re upset or confused, take a moment to pause and think about what you’re really feeling. Are you sad, angry, or scared? By understanding your emotions, you can express them more clearly to others. You might try writing in a journal or talking to someone you trust about what you’re going through. This self-reflection can help you articulate your feelings better and find healthier ways to cope.

Here are a few simple phrases that can help you and your friends during tough times:

• “It’s okay to feel this way.”
• “I’m here for you no matter what.”
• “You’re not alone; I’m with you.”
• “Let’s talk about it when you’re ready.”
• “I believe in you, and you can get through this.”

These phrases might seem small, but they carry a lot of weight. They show empathy and support, which can lighten the burden someone is feeling. Remember, everyone has tough days, and sometimes just knowing that someone is there for you can make all the difference.

Finally, don’t forget to practice self-compassion. Be gentle with yourself when things get tough, just like you would with a friend. It’s okay to ask for help or to take a break when you need one. Life is a journey of learning, and by listening to others and yourself, you’re building the emotional skills that will serve you well as you grow.

So, the next time you find yourself in a situation where someone is struggling or you’re feeling down, remember to listen twice and speak once. This simple approach can lead to deeper connections, improved understanding, and a more supportive environment for everyone involved.